In case you didn’t know, People Magazine recently committed the heinous crime of not making Tom Brady the ‘World’s Sexiest Man Alive.’ Not only did Brady not win, he didn’t even make the list of finalists! Ben Affleck boy toy/superdouche extraordinaire Matt Damon won, and he even tried to turn the award down – infuriating! And right, Matt…you were going to turn it down…you even subtly employed two former winners to campaign for you.
The award is obviously biased towards actors, with their breed qualifying for 11 of the 12 finalist spots (David Beckham was the black sheep). Sure, those guys can ACT like super-sexy badasses, but Tom Brady has the burden of BEING one everyday! I mean, can this and this really be sexier than this and this? And who could ever forget this!? You’re telling me that doesn’t tickle your loins?
If that isn’t enough for you, we know there is nothing sexier than cheating on your mate. Matt Damon is married to a non-celeb and only has one kid, and it’s with his current wife. BOOORRRINNNG! Tom Brady bagged ‘Coyote Ugly’-hottie Bridget Moynahan, knocked her up, and dumped her for someone even hotter! If that doesn’t scream sex appeal, I don’t know what does. Remember what it did for K-Fed? Before. After. That’s all of the proof I need.
Actually, who am I kidding? Next year, this Brady is going to be all the rage anyways.
(For those of you who have been spending the last four years in Uglyville, that’s former Notre Dame and current Cleveland Browns backup Quarterback Brady Quinn.)
As you may be able to tell from our blog banner, we here at TBW are fans of football referees and high-quality officiating in general. Check out this hilarious call by Referee Ron Cherry during the Maryland Terrapins – N.C. State Wolfpack game.
Wow, I forgot how unpredictable college football is. Therefore, I’m going to blow up the old ‘egg on the face’ scoring system. I know I was ridiculously awesome with last week’s picks, but it’s just too hard to pick games within a seven-point margin. From now on, I will pick against the spread, but I will still pick a final score. If I miss the spread, I will get ‘egg on my face,’ but If I get within the previously mandated seven-point margin (so, again, if I pick a team to win by seven points, they have to win by a score within the 4-10 range) I’ll give myself the Matthew McConaughey-version Brandon Lang Bonus.
Honestly, I think I would see this movie. Even better would be just the trailer, voiced over by Dan LaFontaine. And better still? John Facenda doing the voice work.
Because I never get tired of Michael Vick jokes: here, here and here.
Some free knowledge for you. I am full of information, and you lucky people are about to get some of it. And this is not–repeat, NOT–for gambling purposes. College games? I am out of that business. College picks are for losers. Plus, I didn’t go to college. At least, not one with a football team.
#11 USC at #6 Arizona State — Both teams carried National Title hopes at some point this season and will now duke it out for the Pac-10 Title. I haven’t watched a full game involving either of these teams, but I’ll take a healthy Mushmouth (USC Quarterback John David Booty) and stout USC defense.
Before we move onto this week’s picks, let’s take a look back at how I did last week….
OK, so I’m not Nostradamus, and it’s almost impossible for me to pick a score exactly. If I guess the difference in the score accurately, I’d say that’s good enough. If I miss a margin (difference) by more than three either way, we’ll say I ‘got an egg on my face.’ (so if I pick a team to win by 7, they need to win by a margin between 4 and 10)
Prediction: Ohio State 27 – Michigan 17 Ohio State +10
Actual: Ohio State 14 – Michigan 3 Ohio State +11
My Thoughts: Holy cats – I almost nailed the margin! With so many people gambling on this game, you might want to consider taking me to Vegas soon. No egg on the face
In case you’re the last person in the world I haven’t told yet, I’m attending the November 29th matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers. Not only am I excited about attending a game that could potentially decide who gets home-field advantage for the NFC playoffs, but this will be my first pilgrimage to fabled Texas Stadium (the home of the Dallas Cowboys, but they’re getting a new stadium after next season). To make it a little more special, I purchased the jersey of Dallas Cowboys superfreak Linebacker DeMarcus Ware (an alumnus of my high school) just for the game. Oh yeah, and since I’ve reverted to the behavior of an eight-year-old boy (and have no shame) I sent him this fan letter two days ago…
Hey Boot!
This is Sam Candler – a fellow AHS graduate (Class of ’02), a fellow AHS Prom King, and a lifelong Cowboys fan. I got to see my first live Cowboys game last year at the Georgia Dome when you scored a touchdown, and hopefully more good things happen when I come see you guys play the Packers in my first trip to Texas Stadium. I’ve got my DeMarcus Ware #94 jersey on the way just for the game, and, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to get a picture with you before or after the game. I know this is kind of short notice, but it would mean a lot to me to get a photo with the ‘Hometown Hero’ playing for my favorite team. If you need to get in touch with me, you can contact me at samuel.candler@gmail.com or XXX-XXX-XXXX [removed for privacy purposes].
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and how ‘bout them Cowboys!?
Sincerely,
Sam
Pathetic? Awesome? Pathetically awesome? You decide..
FOXSports funnyman Frank Caliendo debuts his new show ‘Frank TV’ tonight at 11/10c on TBS. He’s famous for his impersonations of various sports icons — check him out on this very funny clip from the awesome radio (and now T.V.) show ‘Mike & Mike in the Morning.’
Fantastic college football writer and fellow Alabama native Ivan Maisel paid a visit to The Bye Week today to check out the post “The Lloyd Carr Legacy!” (solicited by me, of course) Here’s what he had to say:
“Thanks for your kind words, and you summed him up well, too. I will miss Lloyd’s intelligence. Not something I run into every week, if you get my drift.“
OK, so it wasn’t the in-depth response I was dreaming about, but at least he came to the site, gave it a look, and responded. Maisel regularly writes great college football articles (especially about the SEC) for ESPN — check him out.
Posted by samcandler 
Posted by samcandler 
Posted by samcandler 
