BCS = Best Case Scenario

Miller High Life

Every year I seem to hear things such as, “Oh, the BCS is terrible! It’s got to go!” and “BCS must stand for ‘Biased Championship Series,’ because my team (a.k.a. – Loser State University) got left out!” You know what I have to say to that? Cram it with walnuts, ugly!

For those not familiar with the BCS, I am referring to the Bowl Championship Series — the set of five college football bowl games that have the highest prestige and come with the biggest money payouts. To avoid getting too complicated, each major conference champion (there are six major conferences and most schools you’ve heard of play in one of these six conferences) is reserved a spot in a BCS Bowl Game, and there are four additional at-large spots awarded based on merit (a ranking aggregate of two human polls and one computer-based poll) and, to some degree, popularity. In addition, the two highest rated of these ten teams will play in the BCS Title Game and the winner will be declared the National Champion. Of course, there are many other details and nuances to the system, but those are the basics (if you really want more information about the BCS, you can go here).

America likes a winner. Not a tie, like they allow in ‘Euro-Latin Theatre Diving’ (soccer) and ‘Angry White Guys With Sticks And No Vowels In Their Names On Ice’ (hockey). You know how many friggin’ split National Titles (multiple teams declared National Champion in the same season, a.k.a. TIES!) there were before the BCS saved us? 39!! That’s more than half! That’s un-American, and I will not stand for it.

I don’t care that your team had more wins than so-and-so, or that you think the voters don’t like your conference. You know why the big-money and popular teams get into the BCS games?…Because they bring in more money and are more popular! Just because you got picked last in gym class or weren’t voted team captain on your high school scholar’s bowl team doesn’t mean you have to take it out on, us, the rich & popular kids. And beating up on five-year-olds all season doesn’t make you a real man. Play some of us big boys, buddy *cough* Kansasisanancyboyfancypants.

And don’t even start talking about having a postseason playoff…

I hear you saying, “If we’re going to have a Title Game, why don’t we just have a playoff so we can have a truly undisputed Champion?” Well, guess what? Lots of people, including me, LIKE arguing about the BCS. Part of the enjoyment I derive from college football is my ability to piss-and-moan about Traditional Power being too high in the preseason rankings, State College getting a free ride to the BCS because they play in the Pee-Wee Conference, and Highly-Rated Team needing to play poorly against Directional Carolina Community Carolina in order to lose ’style points’ so my team can jump them in the BCS standings. See, the BCS makes me care about ALL of the teams in college football and not just my team’s games. That, my readers, is good business.

We, as college football fans get a system where there is controversy, a true champion is declared, and every game matters. What more could you ask for? I call it the Best Case Scenario.