My name is George Costanza — I’m 40 years-old, unemployed, and I live with my parents.

Miller Genuine

In case you’re the last person in the world I haven’t told yet, I’m attending the November 29th matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers. Not only am I excited about attending a game that could potentially decide who gets home-field advantage for the NFC playoffs, but this will be my first pilgrimage to fabled Texas Stadium (the home of the Dallas Cowboys, but they’re getting a new stadium after next season). To make it a little more special, I purchased the jersey of Dallas Cowboys superfreak Linebacker DeMarcus Ware (an alumnus of my high school) just for the game. Oh yeah, and since I’ve reverted to the behavior of an eight-year-old boy (and have no shame) I sent him this fan letter two days ago…

Hey Boot!

This is Sam Candler – a fellow AHS graduate (Class of ’02), a fellow AHS Prom King, and a lifelong Cowboys fan. I got to see my first live Cowboys game last year at the Georgia Dome when you scored a touchdown, and hopefully more good things happen when I come see you guys play the Packers in my first trip to Texas Stadium. I’ve got my DeMarcus Ware #94 jersey on the way just for the game, and, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to get a picture with you before or after the game. I know this is kind of short notice, but it would mean a lot to me to get a photo with the ‘Hometown Hero’ playing for my favorite team. If you need to get in touch with me, you can contact me at samuel.candler@gmail.com or XXX-XXX-XXXX [removed for privacy purposes].
Have a Happy Thanksgiving and how ‘bout them Cowboys!?

Sincerely,

Sam

Pathetic? Awesome? Pathetically awesome? You decide..