Taylor-made for the Falcons

Falcoholic

Style. Grace. Elegance. Beauty. Of course, I’m describing the porno I just watched. However, those words can also be used to describe Jason Taylor, who is soon to join me and 5.6% of Americans in the unrelenting grasp of unemployment. He and Bill Parcells, “the Tuna,” are not getting along. Apparently, the talented Defensive End and the Tuna are not dolphin friendly.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to

Falcoholic

I’ve previously quoted Howard Beale’s exclamatory suggestion in Network, so I will not do it again. However, I will quote from Out of Sight when Jack Foley (George Clooney) fumbles that famous line by saying “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take anymore of your shit!” Once again, I find myself feeling exactly the same.

No country for real men

Falcoholic

I was 15 years old when I turned my now perpetually aching back on baseball. I loved the sport before then. I was an amazing Dixie Youth player. Outstanding. All Star. However, sophmore year of high school changed that for me. You see, Coach Dickhead did not put me on the varsity squad. He didn’t like me, for whatever reason. I was the best player out there…well, that’s what my Mama told me. Now, I hate baseball, and I hate Coach Softcock even more, still after 13 years.

Falcons, Interrupted

Falcoholic

Project “Rescue Falcons: Dump Ryan, Return Vick” has suffered irreparable setbacks, and, along the way, it is my belief that my leaping actually caused the creation of “The View.” The horror. Since my leaping days are now over and Al Calavicci and I destroyed the Project Accelerator, I and other Falcon fans alike are relegated to many years of a Matt Ryan QB campaign in Atlanta. To quote Dr. Evil, “Shit.”

Oh boy…

Falcoholic

In the late 1980s, Dr. Sam Beckett took part in a project known as “Quantum Leap.” At the focus of the project was a device known simply as the Project Accelerator. This device was supposed to be a run of the mill time traveling contraption. Unfortunately, Dr. Beckett’s machine went a tad haywire, and due

Just for the Falcoholic

Miller Genuine

Matt Ryan motivated to live up to expectations of diehard Falcons fan

Taken with the No. 3 overall pick in the NFL draft and tabbed as the savior of the franchise in light of the Michael Vick affair, former Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan knows he has the high expectations of Falcons Nation to live up to.
“I might Jim the other day,” said Ryan. “Jim told me he will hold me responsible for how the team develops. He said he’s happy I’m in town, but that he won’t hesitate to boo me if I don’t play well.”
Jim McDermott is the Falcons’ diehard fan, the remaining member of a ravaged fanbase that once totaled as many as two dozen.
“I am all that’s left,” says McDermott. “But I am proud and I am loud. Especially now that my voice echoes off of all the empty seats. I sound like I’m four or five guys. Needless to say, that’s pretty intimidating coming down on you from way up in the upper deck.”

via sportspickle