Tight End traded to the Saints: Not a Shockey

Falcoholic

I am so unbelievably unsurprised by the Giants maneuver to get rid of Jeremy Shockey, that I cannot truly express my utter lack of astonishment. Hell, if I were Tom Coughlin (head coach of the Giants), I would WANT Shockey gone. I plan on expressing my reasons in the following paragraphs that I will number to make this post more coherent for me and my reader(s):

Falcoholic’s Imaginationland: Part III (Finale)

Falcoholic (from home):

The doctors say I’m okay now. I’ve had a great deal of electroshock therapy and feel a bit fried, no pun intended. Maybe there is a pun intended. I’m not sure anymore. However, the doctors released me to the indefinite custody of my parents. I’m just happy to be home and be with people that are not sticking needles in my cerebellum to keep my limbs from uncontrollably squeezing my own throat.

Falcoholic’s Imaginationland: Part II

Falcoholic (written from the mental asylum):

Brett Favre is back in red and black. Feeling good, looking good. The Falcons’ staff has been thrilled with the latest development. Favre has been throwing beautifully in training camp and the morale of the team is up from the devastation that was the selection of Matt Ryan. Falcons’ head coach Mike Smith explained that he has not been as depressed lately, saying “Brett’s a great guy. He looks sexy in our uniform. I couldn’t be happier about having him here. Before he got here, I went to the Atlanta Zoo and put my head in a crocodile’s mouth. I begged the croc to bite down. It didn’t.”

Falcoholic’s Imaginationland: Part I

Falcoholic (written from the mental asylum):

In a surprising turn of events, the sports’ world has been shocked with the news that Matt Ryan, the Boston College degenerate and overpaid Atlanta Falcon, has been traded to the Greenbay Packers in exchange for Brett Favre. Favre’s return to Atlanta marks a 16 year absence from the team. Falcons’ Coach Mike Smith explained that the trade was “Exactly what we have been waiting for.

My 2008 NFL Predictions

Carl from Miami sez:

The long, long offseason continues. My colleague Falcoholic is still hard at work on his Budweiser regimen, all the while in complete denial that the company is about to be sold off to Nazi sympathizers. He should be drinking Corona, like me. And Miller Genuine–I don’t think he even drinks Miller, truth be told. Anyway, here are some predictions for the upcoming season: