Oh, I guess he is made of plexiglass…

RC100 from LA

Plaxico Burress has recently been released from the hospital after an accidental shooting at a New York City night club.  Rumor has it that he accidentally shot himself in the thigh.  There is not a full story on how it happened, but possibilities include:

1) He was trying to shoot his bodyguard (on the recommendation of Pacman Jones) and the gun went off in his pocket.

2) He was pretending to be Will Smith in “Wild, Wild West” and had a mishap when twirling the gun.

3) Mario Manningham, wanting to play a more prominent role in the offense, bet PB $20 he wouldn’t shoot himself through the leg.

To be honest, I’m not sure which is more surprising, the fact that an NFL player shot himself in a night club or the fact that I’m not at all surprised that an NFL player shot himself in a night club.

NFL Pick ‘Em: Week #13

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Big Carl: 1) Miller Genuine: 23-17; 2) Madden Simulator: 21-19; Simmons: 21-19; 4) Carlos: 18-22

Miller: King Carlos beat me to the picks again this week, so I didn’t make it in time for the Titans’ thrashing of the Lions. I’ll add an extra game in this week.

If you’re far enough away, two goal posts converge to become one

rc100 from LA

I’m proud of Jason Hanson for his long-range accuracy, but isn’t this just a sign of how bad the Lions are, that they can’t get closer to the end zone than the Facloholic can get to Algie Crumpler (restraining order)?

Cryin’ for Ryan, and if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin!

Falcoholic

 

Fans, fans, fans (I named all three) of the Falcoholic, I’ve returned, or as Kyle Schwartz (from “Southpark”) would say, “I’m BAAAAaaaaack.”  The last few months have held a lot for me: numerous bar sluts and, most important, a job!  I know, that is very unlike our hero; however, I’ve finally moved out of my parents’ house and become something of a man…well, at least a slight shadow of a man.

NFL Pick ‘Em: Week #12

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Miller:  Who’s in first?…Oh yes, MEEEEE…and Madden Simulator!  The current standings — 1) Miller Genuine 20-16   1) Madden Simulator 20-16   3) Bill Suckons 19-17   4) Carl 16-20      It’s heating up at the top, but maybe Big Carl can translate a hot run at the dog track into some wins on the gridiron.

Hey, everybody deserves an eleventh chance

RC100 from LA
Yep, Pacman Jones is getting another chance.  After Dallas tried giving him bodyguards for his protection, and he got in a fight with said bodyguards, they’ve decided the won’t be giving him bodyguards anymore.  This means he’ll have to reach just a little farther to pick a fight.  I think Jerry Jones would give a million bucks to anyone who could make Pacman behave for the rest of the season.  He already tried giving Pacman a million bucks to make himself behave, but that didn’t pan out.  Maybe Jerry can just hire Bill Parcells to glare at Pacman around the clock.  If that doesn’t work, nothing will.

When can I get my Michael Vick commemorative license plate?

RC100 from LA

Just a quick link today.  The numbers in the article are pretty painful to read.

NFL Pick ‘Em: Week #11

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Carl: Hello, sports fans! Carl yet again went 2-2 last week. So, he is keeping his head above water, but the vig is eating him alive. That lucky Miller somehow went 3-1 again. Simmons and the Madden Simulator both went 2-2. This brings our standings to: 1) Miller Genuine, 18-14; 1) Simmons 18-14; 3) Madden Simulator 17-15; 4) Carl 15-17. On to this week’s games.

Say it ain’t so, Phil

RC100 from LA

Sadly, this will be the last season for the Ful. They are in one of those seasons that is setting records, in all the
bad ways. I guess we already knew that you having good students that lose can get you fired. We now know that having bad students that lose can also get you fired.  To be fair, Tennessee’s graduation rate is currently hanging around 50%, whereas a few years ago it was reported as low as 8%.  To also be fair, it’s hard to get hard numbers on Ty WIllingham’s graduation rates, since he can’t seem to make it long enough at any school to graduate his own players.  I guess that Stanford job is looking pretty good right now…

NFL Pick ‘Em: Week #10

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Carl: Here’s how we stand after last week: the Big Man went 2-2 yet again, Miller Genuine went 3-1 (though his idiot pick for the Chiefs to win did not pan out, of course–God would have come down from heaven and allow the Bucs to make a twelve-point field goal, rather than let the Chiefs win that game.), the Madden Simulator went 2-2 and that dummy Simmons went 1-3. This brings our standings to: 1) Simmons, 16-12; 2) Miller Genuine, 15-13; 2) Madden Simulator, 15-13; 4) The Most Cursed Gambler of All Time, 13-15. On with this week’s picks.

Miller: Cursed!? Hah. To quote Bill Czarcells – “You are what your record says you are.”