Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Packers (favored by 9 1/2) at Bucs

Carl: This week, smart gamblers will be feasting on the shit sandwiches that the NFL has to offer.  Packers.

Miller: Packers

Sports Guy: Packers

Madden Simulator: Packers

Panthers at Saints (favored by 13)

Carl: Saints

Miller: Panthers

Sports Guy: Panthers

Madden Simulator: Panthers

Titans at 49ers (favored by 4)

Carl: 49ers

Miller: 49ers

Sports Guy: 49ers

Madden Simulator: 49ers

Steelers (favored by 3) at Broncos

Carl: Broncos (and to win!)

Miller: Steelers

Sports Guy: Broncos

Madden Simulator: Push

Carl  from Miami + Miller Genuine

Carl: Here’s a wrap-up from the last two weeks:

Week #6:

1) Madden Simulator: 4-0

1) Sports Guy: 4-0

3) Carl from Miami 2-2

3) Miller Genuine 2-2

Week #7:

1) Big Carl: 3-1

2) Miller Genuine: 2-2

2) Sports Dude: 2-2

4) Madden Simulator: 1-2-1

Our current standings:

1) Sporrts Guy: 20-8

2) Madden Simulator: 17-10-1

3) Miller Genuine: 16-12

4) Big Carl: 15-13

Broncos at Ravens (favored by 3.5)

Carl: Okay, which of these teams is undefeated?  I am going to keep riding this Bronco until it drops!  Broncos to win, baby!

Miller: Six-game winning streak vs. three-game losing streak.  The ball just isn’t bouncing the Ravens’ way this year.  Take the Broncos.

Madden Simulator: Ravens

Bill Simmons: Broncos

Rams at Lions (favored by 4)

Carl: Wow, how long has it been since the Lions have been favored to win a game?  Some loser, maybe that Will from D.C. character, should look that up.  It’s not like he has anything better to do.  Oh, and the Lions will cover while they push St. Louis deeper into their pit of shame.  The only thing that will save the Rams now is a permanent trip back to L.A.

Miller:  Today the Football Apocalypse will occur when this game ends in a tie.  I’m just kidding.  The Football Apocalypse will occur when these two teams set foot on the same field, but expect it to end with a Lions victory.

Madden Simulator: Rams

Bill Simmons: Rams

Jags at Titans (favored by 3)

Carl: This is kinda like the bizarro twin of the Broncos-Ravens game.  Which team is winless?  Pick against them!  Jags to win!

Miller: If Vince Youngs dons a Longhorns jersey and forces the entire Jags defense to sport USC Trojan gear, then I foresee a last-second win for the Titans and huge day for Young.  Sadly, this will not happen as the Titans continue to battle the Rams for the #1 pick.

Madden Simulator: Titans

Bill Simmons: Jags

Panthers at Cardinals (favored by 10)

Carl: How is this line only ten points?  If the Panthers had any brains, they’d cut Jake Delhomme at halftime and make that Cajun hick walk back to Carolina.  Maybe then he’d quit throwing so many passes to guys in Cardinals jerseys.  Cardinals will cover this massive point spread.

Miller: When these two matched up in the playoffs at Carolina last year, the Cardinals shocked the world (and by world, I mean all seven Arizona Cardinals fans) when they pounded the Panthers.  The Cardinals will have the home faithful of University of Phoenix Online Stadium behind them this year and expect a monster win for the Cardinals.

Madden Simulator: Cards

Bill Simmons: Cardinals

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Colts (favored by 14) at Rams

Carl: Big spreads are scary to most people, but that doesn’t include the big man!  I don’t think the Rams could make a college bowl game.  Take the Colts and watch the Rams score about ten points on themselves.

Miller: Colts

Patriots (favored by 15) at Bucs

Carl: The Rams’ partner in crime, the Bucs.  I don’t need to say anything else–take the Patriots.  That classless Belichick will have his spy cameras out, even for a loser team like Tampa Bay.

Miller: Patriots

Bills at Panthers (favored by 7)

Carl: Bills (and to win)

Miller: The Bills have an Ivy League brain leading this team (Dick Jauron went to Yale).  Too bad their Quarterback has an Ivy League Arm (Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard).  Panthers

Falcons at Cowboys (favored by 4)

Carl: Falcons (and to win)

Miller: I don’t know what Vegas was smoking when they made this line.  Falcons

rc100 from LA

It looks like the rctross’ pro football drought in LA may finally have a chance at ending.  Not a moment too soon, because watching UCLA lose is almost as rough as watching USC win.  RC thinks the timing is perfect for the Raiders to relocate.  They really have nothing to lose.  It would even give Tom Cable a chance to polish up the turd that is his image.  Rumor has it that he’s planning on getting back in Roger Goodell’s good graces… probably by giving self defense lessons to grade school kids in Compton.

“You see son, if you dig the thumb into the side of the neck, you choke him out a lot faster.  I’m not sure where I learned that.  It was either Randy Savage or Buddy Ryan.”

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Texans vs. Bengals (favored by 5)

Carl: Lemme get this straight–the 4-1 Bengals are at home, and they are favored by less than a touchdown?  Bet on the Bengals for some easy money.

Miller: The Texans look like a squad that’s good at beating up on bad teams.  Miraculously enough, the Bengals are not a bad team this year – take the team formerly known as ‘the Bungles.’

Cardinals at Seahawks (favored by 3)

Carl: Seahawks?  At home?  Oh, yeah!

Miller: The Cardinals don’t look sharp (I guess that’s nothing new, but people sure do remember how good they were in the playoffs), and the Seahawks are always a tough out at home.  I like Hasselbeck to pick the Cards apart and the Shehawks defense to hold strong in the 4th quarter.

Titans at Patriots (favored by 9)

Carl: Patriots

Miller: Do the Titans have to win a game this year?  I say no.  Solid teams lay the wood to bad teams.  I think the Patriots are a solid team – take the Pats.

Broncos at Chargers (favored by 3 1/2)

Carl: Broncos (and to win)

Miller: The best piece of gambling advice I can offer – take the underdog in a Monday Night game.  It seems like something fluky always happens in this primetime matchup.  Broncos.

Carl from Miami

Carl: The Big Man is back & he’s on a roll that ain’t stopping!

1) Carl:3-1

1) Sports Dude: 3-1

3) Miller Genuine: 2-2

3) Madden Simulator:  2-2

Here are the standings on the season to date:

1) Sports Dude: 14-6

2) Miller Genuine: 12-8

2) Madden Simulator: 12-8

4) Carl from Miami: 10-10

That’s right, baby!  Carl is back to even, and good things are coming for the rest of the season!  No more frozen lasagna for this guy!

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Vikings (favored by 10) at Rams

Carl: Vikings

Miller: Vikings

Falcons at 49ers (favored by 2 1/2)

Carl: 49ers

Miller: 49ers

Patriots (favored by 3) at Broncos

Carl: Broncos (and to win)

Miller: Patriots

Colts (favored by 3.5) at Titans

Carl: Colts

Miller: Colts

Carl from Miami

Well.  Well, well, well.  Look who’s back on top!  Not that idiot Natural Lite, with his smartass comments!  The Big Man is back, and he predicts a long stretch of dominance at the top.

From last week:

1) Carl  3-1

1) Bill Simmons 3-1

3) Miller Genuine 2-2

3) Madden Simulator 2-2

Overall:

1) Bill Simmons 11-5

2) Miller Genuine 10-6

2) Madden Simulator 10-6

4) CARL 7-9

Carl from Miami + Miller Genuine

Raiders at Texans (favored by 9)

Pirate King Carl: That’s a pretty big spread for a 1-2 team.  Raiders!

Miller Genuine: It’s useless trying to predict what the Raiders are going to do.  This is the same team that gave away All-Pro Receiver Randy Moss for a 4th round pick…but there’s something I like about the Raiders this week (probably that they beat an equally Jekyll/Hyde Texans squad last year 27-16).  Take the black & silver.

Madden Simulator: Texans

Bill Simmons: Raiders

Titans (favored by 3) at Jaguars

Titanic Carl: Despite my nickname, I’m going with the Jags to cover the spread and push Tennessee to 0-4 at the same time.

Miller Lite: Last year, the ball just seemed to bounce the Titans’ way.  This year, it has been the complete opposite.  In a contest involving two very physical teams – my prediction?  Pain. (And a Jags victory)

MS: Titans

BS: Titans

Rams at 49ers (favored by 9 1/2)

Massive Carl: No point spread is too big for this mismatch.  Even the Lions laugh at the Rams.  The only risk is that the Niners pull the starters at halftime and let a few lucky fans in on the action.  Niners

Miller High Life: The 49ers like to play tight games an wear opponents down in the 4th quarter.  The Rams are a picture of offensive ineptitude but have played some stout defense.  What does this equal?  The Rams covering.

MS: 49ers

BS: 49ers

Cowboys (favored by 3) at Broncos

Big Carl: Cowboys fans are idiots.  They will bet on those stupid Cowgirls, no matter how much Vegas moves the line.  Denver (and to win.)

Miller Chill: I think Broncos Defensive Coordinator Mike Nolan is going to teach Cowboys Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett a thing or two this game.  Take the Broncos to win.

MS: Dallas

BS: Denver

Miller Genuine

Just call me Mr. Perfect, because I went 4-0 last week, baby!  Little c is slowly recovering from a disastrous start with a 3-1 mark along with that clown, Simmons.  And the Madden Simulator had a couple of glitches to drop it to the bottom spot for the week at 2-2.

Overall:

Madden Simulator: 8-4

Miller Genuine: 8-4

Bill Simmons: 8-4

Little c: 4-8

Wow, lots of 4s and 8s in there – it’s a tight race at the top, but no one has jumped out to a commanding lead just yet.